When the Night Breaks Open
What if holiness comes not to the worthy, but to the attentive?
The Vigil of the Night Watch
It is a dark night in the fields outside of Bethlehem. Shepherds tend their flock, constantly vigilant for any threat that may come. Their flock is more than just animals, more than just their livelihood. It is their lives. Without the meat, milk, and wool they provide, they have nothing for their families, nothing for their community.
The darkness masks the horizon. Anything could be out there.
Over time, they have learned the routine of the night watch. They tell stories, jokes, and sing songs to ward off boredom and keep their focus alive. Most nights it is the same thing. They sit around and wait, and nothing happens.
But occasionally, a threat sneaks in among the flock, and they have to act quickly. Stories are told about times when lions, wolves, bears, and other dangers slipped in and tried to take one of their flock. Occasionally one will slip away, and they will have to hunt it down and find it, because every life in the flock is precious to them.
They are filled with care and concern, but not dread. They have done this enough to know that it is unlikely they will need to take action, but they stay attentive to the moment, listening for any faint signs of trouble so they can act early to protect the flock.
The Sky Will Not Stay Closed
Luke 2:9
9. Behold, an angel of the Lord stood by them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
Suddenly, the heavens break open and a host of angels fill the sky. Fear grips them.
They have heard stories about such things. Legends. Tales told in the Temple and in the synagogue. But never had they imagined something like this could happen to them. The world breaks open, and they can see the forces of the divine arrayed in the heavens, and they quake with fear.
It is not the same fear they would feel if a wolf had snuck in or if thieves had come to take from the flock. It is deeper, down into their soul and in their bones. Their bodies shake.
They are mere shepherds, the lowest of the low in their society. Why would the heavens awaken to them? Why would they reveal themselves in such splendorous glory to them?
They feel unworthy and unprepared for the glory of God to suddenly break forth in their presence. They had not prepared for anything like this. They could not prepare for anything like this.
When the soul is struck with awe out of nowhere, there is nothing, no watchfulness, no attentiveness, no mindfulness that can prepare you for that mystery, both fearful and tremendous, that seizes the soul.
This is mysterium tremendum et fascinans.
“Do Not Be Afraid”
Luke 2:10
10. The angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be to all the people.
“Do not be afraid.”
Those words shake within them like grass in a thunderstorm.
In that moment, they realize that all of their fears about being worthy mean nothing. After all, who is worthy to see the heavens open? Who has earned the ability to see the grandeur of the world in all of its splendor and glory?
They abandon their fear that they do not deserve this gift. After all, no one deserves any gift. That is why it is given freely.
There, in the face of the unfiltered glory of life pouring forth in the form of the hosts of heaven and the voice of the angel, they surrender all of their care and doubt, their concerns that they did not deserve to witness such splendor and that they had not been worthy of it.
If they had not been worthy, they would not have seen. If they did not deserve to hear, they would not have heard, and yet they did both.
They did not behold the glory because they were pure, but because they were attentive.
Their vigilance allowed them to see what was open to them because of their care and concern for their flock, for each other, for their families, and for their community. Their lives were dedicated to this intimate care, and that did not make them deserve this. It did not make them worthy of this. It made them open to seeing this, to receiving it.
Others who did not have their attention on the preservation of life and community might have passed by without a hint of the glory seeping into their consciousness.
Notice that the angel does not quiz them about their beliefs or their faith, does not ask if they have done anything morally dubious. The angel simply appears to these caretakers of the flock, the home, and the community, and proclaims the good news.
Peace on Earth Among People of Good Will
Luke 2:14
14. “Glory to God in the highest, on earth peace, good will toward men.”
Peace is not the absence of struggle or strife. It is the openness that allows for life to go on. Peace is that place where we live, where we take care of and tend to the needs of one another.
When the angel says, “peace on earth among people of good will,” the angel is stating a fact, not making a proclamation.
Those of goodwill seek to help one another. They intervene in strife and struggle. They make sure that their neighbor is fed, clothed, and taken care of. Those of goodwill are living the gospel without even realizing it.
Goodwill sees another in need and does whatever is in its power to serve that need. A people of goodwill forge an amazing community where everyone is looking out for each other.
And in that field of goodwill, peace can grow.
Peace is the harvest we reap from stability and care. Peace is not an emotion, even though we can feel it. Peace is the end result of living in a situation where we know there is no need for fear.
Why is there no need for fear? Because the goodwill of our neighbors can almost be taken for granted, because we know that we are all looking out for the community. Because when one of us prospers, all of us prosper. And when one of us suffers, all of us suffer.
Understanding that balance is the cornerstone of goodwill.
Through the care of their animals, their families, and their lives, the shepherds were taking care of themselves. This is the act of goodwill that brought peace among them, that allowed them to be attentive in the night with the courage and the knowledge that they had each other’s backs and thus could survive any threat that came their way.
That solidarity and mutual care is the cornerstone of peace, and it all arises from a heart filled with goodwill.
They Go
Luke 2:15-16
15. When the angels went away from them into the sky, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem, now, and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.”
16. They came with haste, and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby was lying in the feeding trough.
The angels inform them that a new child is born, and once they have sung and faded back beyond the sight of the shepherds, immediately the shepherds pick up everything, trusting that their flock will be okay, but knowing even more so the vulnerability and care needed by a newborn.
They did not get up and go so much to worship the child, but to ensure that the child had everything that it needed and that anything they could provide, they would.
Not every mother is capable of breastfeeding her child. In the ancient world, when a mother could not provide milk, goat’s milk was used instead. If the child needed sustenance, the shepherds could provide it. If the child needed a warm blanket to sleep, the shepherds could provide it.
They had moved beyond the fear at seeing the angel in the heavens and worrying that they were not worthy to receive such revelation and not understanding what they could have done to deserve it, since worth and deserving have nothing to do with the revelation of wonder, and had surrendered to the wonder itself of the moment.
A child was born. New life had entered the world.
According to the angels, this child was the anointed one, the Messiah, and the name of God had been placed upon him.
Filled with the sense of wonder they had received in the vision from the angels, they ran to the child’s side and wondered at the sight of the Holy Family and the possibilities that stretched out before this child and the life not yet lived.
In that moment, all of their expectations danced within them.
They had heard stories of a messiah. They had heard tales of many who had come and gone, succeeded and failed over time. Could this child really be the savior the angel promised? Could he save them from the oppression of Rome that colonized their land and the tyranny of kings that extracted wealth from them?
That was so much weight to put on any child.
But in their wonder, they realized the words of the angel: peace on earth to people of goodwill.
The task of bringing the glorious world to come was not on the shoulders of this one child. It was upon all of them.
They had to be the people of goodwill. Only when they were a people of goodwill would peace reign and their people be free.
Re-Illuminated from Within
Luke 2:20
20. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, just as it was told them.
In this glorious experience, they realize how much life is worth tending.
Holiness is not rare. It is everywhere in the cosmos, but it goes unnoticed.
In their fear of being unworthy and not deserving the glory of God, they denied themselves the wonder ever present among them.
In getting through that fear and passing through that fear and embracing the sheer terror of knowing that the whole world is filled with the glory of God, the cosmos itself is vibrating with that glory, they embraced the wonder underlying all things.
They re-illuminated their lives from within.
They saw the wonder not just outside of them, but within them.
They were not pretenders to this glory, to this holiness. They were the living embodiment of it.
They were shepherds, caretakers, people of goodwill.
If only everyone saw the world like this.
Awe is the beginning of wisdom.
Once you embrace the fear of the great, tremendous vastness of the cosmos, and the wonder at your intricate, intimate inlay within it, the glory breaks forth.
We are not small. We are a stitch in the tapestry of life, and if that stitch is pulled out, the tapestry may unravel.
Once we realize that, we realize that this is true for every stitch in the tapestry, not just ours.
This is true holiness.
When you see the great fabric of space-time and realize how intimately woven everything is together, you see that through this vast web of interconnectedness all things are made and all things are changed.
In this wonder and awe, the urge to be shepherds and caretakers arises within us.
We must do everything that we can to save all life.
To be a people of goodwill is not to be perfect. It is to act out of that goodness in our own hearts, connecting to that original grace of the cosmos and recognizing the original blessing in all things to work toward our common good.
It is the solidarity we feel with everything that is, was, and ever shall be, and the mutual care we live into the world.
Initiation into Wonder
Some of us have this revelation when we look up at the night sky and see the vastness of space stretched out before us. Others when they see the great mountains for the first time, or feel the water running past us in a river, or when our toes touch the ocean water and we understand the great vastness stretching out before us.
In that moment of awe, fear of our smallness and our vulnerability arises within us, as does wonder at the vast interconnectedness of all things.
Once awakened to this wonder, through attentiveness, mindfulness, and compassion, we cultivate our own goodwill.
We enact that goodwill through our interaction with the world and everything and everyone within it.
Thus we too are initiated into holiness like those shepherds so long ago.
Take a moment and remember a time when you were awakened to this wonder. When awe and terror filled you, and you saw your small, fragile place but were engaged by the wonder of it all.
Do not stop at the fear. Press through it.
This is our initiation into wonder, where we learn to savor and delight in it.
That wonder is the seed of goodwill within us, beyond the resistance of fear and control.
We enter that contentment, that peace that passes all understanding, as we practice living a life of goodwill daily.
Philippians 4:7
7. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
This wonder reshapes our entire life and gives us the hope that drives us forward to the world to come.
We do not have to wait for peace to be declared. We manufacture it.
Through every kind thought, action, and word, we spread that peace into the world. With every act of anger, hatred, and jealousy, we tear it down.
To truly live lives of goodwill, we dedicate ourselves to spreading that peace, that mindful compassion, that attentive solidarity, that mutual care as far and wide as we are capable in our lives.
That might just be between you and your cats right now. Between you and your neighbor. No matter how small the start.
Matthew 17:20
20. He said to them, “Because of your unbelief. For most certainly I tell you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.
Everything starts small.
But it builds and it builds and it grows and it evolves and it changes and it learns.
And one day, it fills the cosmos.